You got some weird habits, actually you’re f-ed up! But how much of it is does the world see? Well, that depends on a certain time in your life.
Let me tell you a story. Someone recently did me wrong! I was pissed off and still fuming as I went to sleep that night. However within minutes of lying down, I passed out. The next morning I woke up the same way I always do.
“Good morning!” I greeted my wife with a smile on my face.
She looked at me for a second before responding, “you are so f-in weird!”
My wife always had a hard time understanding how I could, not only fall asleep so quickly, but also wake up like nothing ever happened.
“It’s just how I am.” I always told my wife. I never really questioned it. Just like you never question most of the habits you have. However, this time it made me dig deep and I went back to a dark time in my life.
Whether you realize it or not, most of your habits or “what makes you,” stem from your childhood. So did your mommy or daddy not give you enough attention when you were a child? If that’s the case, then you’re, ‘No Bueno.’ Actually, you’re FUBAR! Welcome to the club, I’m not only a member, I’m the President.
Ok, ok, I’m not really the President, but I am weird, maybe a little f-ed up too! The thing is that my mommy and daddy gave me plenty of attention, but only until I was about 6 years old. Then daddy went away for a few years and mommy hit the bottle… hard! So let me tell you how that f-ed me up, I mean, made me weird.
After my father left, I spent many nights crying myself to sleep. It wasn’t that I just missed my dad, it was that my mom became a mess. See when you are six years old, you’re still a child. And nothing scares you more than dark nights alone in your room, let alone, your house. I often joke that my mother was the Casey Anthony of Poland, but that I just happened to survive the chloroform nap. The truth was that her priorities were that of a party girl rather than a mother. She eventually got so bad that she would leave my younger brother and I alone for days at a time.
I still remember the nights I scream cried in the window for my mom to come back home. I did that for hours, to the point where I exhausted myself to sleep. Often I would wake up with hope that my mother was back. Sometimes she was, but more often she wasn’t. And as time went by, I actually preferred that she wasn’t. That way, at least I didn’t have to clean up her drunken mess… or meet a new ‘uncle’ in the morning… if you know what I mean.
As sh*tty as those times were, they helped me developed the habit that no matter how pissed of, stressed or sad I was when I went to sleep, I always woke up in a far better state. Sleep became my emotional reset button. And if you think that makes me weird, then I love being weird!
So if someone ever tells you that you’re weird… thank that person! Then look back at your life and find where you developed your habit. Whether good or bad, if it’s one of your stronger habits, chances are it developed in your childhood. Has it postiviely or negatively affected you? Study that habit and find the source of its creation. Once you discover that source, you discover a clue of how you, became you. The more clues you find, the more you understand yourself. The more you understand yourself, the quicker you can change your habits. Now how to do that, well that’s a topic for another post!
It’s your turn, what’s one of your habits that you can trace back to your childhood? How did it affect you? I’m looking for stories for my book, I’d love you to share yours with me. So click here to submit your story!